How can discipline be a positive experience? Can correction also be a motivation?
How can a serious mistake be addressed with out humiliating your trainee? Do you know the three motivational words that can be used to reprimand and still allow for maintaining dignity?
Above all, is it possible to use this in public speaking?
We viewed discipline as trouble. It is not trouble. It got us out of trouble.
Make Discipline a Positive Experience
Correction in this positive context is a more powerful tool to accomplish behavioral goals than a negative one. To quantify any experience, put positive on a continuum of pleasure and negative as pain.
Most prefer pleasure? So the closer we can frame a negative experience as a positive learning experience the more effective it will be. The more we will be able to persuade or motivate, both now and in the future. The more respect will be given and received.
Respect is what draws us together. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Sometimes serious mistakes require attention even discipline.
Can you remember mistakes you made in your life time whether you got caught or not. If you’re conscientious there is probably nobody that could beat you up any better than you could your self.
The Power of Remembered Feelings
Right now what feelings do you have about those mistakes? Do you see the power of your memory? Do they still motivate you today?
Let me illustrate with a true story how a doctor used three little words to motivate discipline in another doctor. The three words illustrate how positive reinforcement can motivate a person to never repeat a mistake.
At a patient’s bed side, a new doctor was being trained in a procedure. He made a serious and potentially life threatening mistake. He simply forgot to hold on to one of his instruments.
He immediately told his instructor what he had done. He also began to take the corrective actions. The matter was quickly corrected. No harm came to the patient.
Remember That Feeling
The experienced doctor did not want to belittle him in front of me. I was the assisting nurse. He didn't want to alarm the conscious patient. Yet the behavior needed to be addressed right then and there. He needed to be disciplined. So he simply stated, “Remember that feeling.” Only the doctors and I were aware of the problem. The patient had not a clue.
The new doctor continued to progress and became a wonderful surgeon. And that discipline motivated him to never make the same mistake.
Once the mistake is realized and rectified, simply say, ‘remember that feeling.’ You might even want to repeat for emphasis. Three little words can have the effect of giving the rebuke and at the same time allow for warmth and feeling in giving support.
The Dark Side: Using Words to Tear Down.
My family picked up a dog abandoned in the country in my teen years. It had sat at the corner of a country road where it was left for over 3 days. The first day we brought food and water as we did day two. Day 3 it was ours. Why did the dog just sit there?
It was because of the harsh treatment from its previous master. Psychologist call it learned helplessness. It sometimes happens to humans too as a result of harsh treatment.
Beating into submission only leads to personality destruction and not building up. Be it beating with a stick or paper, or in the case of humans beating with words.
Those who resort to using such will argue it helps build character and creates a thick skin. If you think that, well you are right. Look at a bad wound that has healed. It has thick skin. The problem is it also has reduced feeling. It is not as good or as pretty as healthy skin.
Bottom line, it is damaged and less useful. The same is true of the potential to any individual treated harshly for long enough. That harsh treatment can lead to even more disastrous consequences.
There are positive ways to create thick skin. It can be accomplished with positive reinforcement but that’s another story.
Use it Wisely
Use these 3 words sparingly and only for really serious mistakes. To use it often will dilute its strength as a motivational tool.
So frame your discipline and corrections within a positive frame. Build up rather than tear down. The result, more pleasure for you as you help others reach mutual goals.
Public Speakers note: common memories are an excellent tool to tap into the feelings and emotions of your audience. Make sure to use research and use them carefully.
This is an excellent tool to reach the audience mind in public speaking.Everyone has memories and feelings.
This I Believe is a true life story about how words can save a life.