Do you suffer from communication in relationships fail.
If you want to save your marriage, then this may just be the most important information you read. I you want to save your relationship, then this too may be just what you need.
If you are experiencing in your relationship what the Captain said in Cool Hand Luke, "What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate." then this is for you.
Communication in relationships need not be an unattainable goal.
There are simple, easy formulas to help you learn how to improve your communication with the one you once loved.
Would you like to...
Even if you are separated and considering divorce, it is still possible to salvage the time, effort and emotion you have invested in your relationship up until now.
You probably know the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Yet if you think about it, do you respond in the same ways that have not worked in the past? It is almost like we are hard wired to fail.
A Thought What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. ~Pericles
The problem is we were never trained in how to be a part of a loving relationship. We were not taught how to listen. We were not taught how to communicate.
Before you learn why you have communication fail, here is a tip you can use today.
Communication Tip #1
This is a formula for communication success.
It is quite simply...
When you - I feel - I need
Ground Rules: Never accuse, make statements of facts that you can prove on the spot and not what you think, feel or believe.
You used to say, "You never clean up the kitchen when you make a mess." (how can you prove the never aspect?) Instead say,
"When you do not clean up the mess you make in the kitchen..."
You may have said in the past, "I get so mad (or) You make me so (fill in the blank)."
Instead say, "I feel like you do not appreciate the hard work I do to keep the kitchen clean."
Conclude with, "I need you to...(fill in your most wanted response but make it reasonable.)
Bottom line, this works.
Click Here to learn more about the three part message.
How to Remove the Bad Brain Programming
Our programming in our brain is defective. This bad programming leads to ineffective communication in relationships.
For some, the problem is worse than just bad programming. The programs uploaded into our brains may have self-destructive viruses, Trojan horses or even worms.
If you come from family live filled with yelling, screams and strife. If this is what you grew up with, this is how you were programmed.
If you come from a family that verbally abused one another, then that is all you know as how it is done. Your response could be to do nothing. Then you reach a tipping point and all is lost. All because of the bad programming or even worse virus like malicious viruses imposed on your mind.
For instance, if you come from a background where one or both of your parents were alcoholics, you will find yourself having an all or nothing mentality. This creates another challenge. There is an increased chance that you will not win win argument. The reality is that both of you could win, if you change the way you think.
To illustrate, suppose you want a potato and your mate wants the same potato. There is only one potato. In the win lose scenario, someone is going to get the potato and someone is not.
In a win win scenario, one will get to have potato skins with cheese and the other will get to have mashed potatoes that they can make into volcanoes with molten butter running out of.
This applies to anything, not just your last potato. Think of any discussion, argument or even emotional dispute you ever have been in. Rather than win - lose, having communication in relationships can help you have a win- win.
How can you learn to communicate this way?
You can change the programming of your brain. To do so requires only using the equivalent of a virus scan and a virus inoculator or virus scrubber.
Although this sounds like a technologically complex process, it has been made quite simple for the average user. Even if you or your mate has had an affair, it is possible to repair the damage and have a loving relationship.
Although the mind can be scrubbed of the self destructive viruses and you can have a great life, there is a time constraint. If you wait too long, as some point, the damage will be beyond what can be repaired. If you have a problem with communication in relationships, you need to act today.
You need to act sooner rather than later because sooner or later it will be too late.
To help you appreciate the need, think of the man who was asked why he was putting flowers on the grave of his wife. After all, she could not benefit from them as she was dead. He said it was because of all the times he could have and should have bought flowers when she was alive and he did not.
So too with your relationship, if you wait till it dies to try to revive it, there may be no hope.
And if you keep waiting, not only will you keep experiencing more and more pain, the ultimate end will be more than the pain you feel right now. Even with out the pain, there will be scar tissue on the emotions of your heart. Scar tissues that could have been avoided if you were to act sooner rather than later.
I would like to propose a solution in the form of a brain virus scan that will help you remove the destructive and unproductive ways you deal with communication in relationship. Before you get to see the program, consider what it will do for you.
How This Will Benefit Your Communication in Relationships?
Make it your goal to learn how to change the ineffective ways you handle situations that end up in fights.
You can change the attitude of your mate.
If it is possible to win your mate back, learn what you need to do.
This all starts with getting your partner to love you once again.
And go beyond just love, ignite the passion you once had for each other.
Rather than having to read a book about the planets we each come from, full of wonderful theories, set your heart on learning actual strategies you can put to work and start building a loving relationship right now.